The other day I went to the dentist for a cleaning and I usually have the same hygienist but she was busy and I got someone else, (we will call her Carol), which I was super rude at first and asked her where my hygienist was. I had to calm myself down and she came in the room and told me sorry and that this lady was really nice and good, so I just had to put my anxious feelings to the side and just get this over with. You know, people like me like routines and back in the day, my old me would have left but I sucked it up. Big step for me.
Anyways, Carol wanted to take x-rays and I don’t gag when I that annoying thing is in my mouth. Well, Carol then tells me this patient came in and to avoid being gagged he arranged the X-ray thing in his mouth, then she proceeded to say the T word, which I just tried to not hear and I told her about this book I read and this guy got sick when he was getting impressions done for braces, I used the word “got sick” and so Carol kept saying the T word. I then told her that it’s my biggest fear and my phobia and I went to therapy about it, want to know what she did next?
She laughed. I’m not sure laughing at someone’s phobia and therapy is okay to do. I’m not sure if she was uncomfortable or what but she just kept on talking. I wish more people would listen to others rather than just talking. If she would have heard me, she would have stopped talking about it after I told her it was my biggest fear.
Am I being too sensitive? The old me would have had a panic attack and left, hell this conversation would never have happened since my hygienist was busy.
I couldn’t even write this blog after it happened, I had to calm my nerves and try to not think about it because I get scared I will get sick. So irrational but that’s how it is and I have come to terms with that.
For years, I did not tell people about my phobia because they did exactly what Carol did, laugh and scoff it off. I wish I could laugh about it too, but I can’t. It’s a nightmare for me.
When I finally met my wife’s family after 6 years of being together (they are very anti) and her mom had gastric and was always burping but when she would burp, she would do this gag thing, I can’t even describe it but every time she would do it, I would be deathly scared. I started sweating bad, I was holding my breath, shaking and couldn’t talk. My wife told her to stop doing it and I told her my phobia. Well, just like Carol she scoffed it off and then every time she burped, she did it louder and would stare at me. At this point, it was certain she was doing it on purpose and it was infuriating. It’s like they tell you to never let your enemies know your weaknesses, well she knew mine and went to town with it.
That is not the first time that has happened, and it won’t be the last. A lot of people are lacking empathy and downright common sense. If someone says they are scared of something or don’t like something, don’t talk about it. End of story.
Until next time –